Acceptance

I have neglected by blog for far to long.  I have found the past two years extremely difficult but I now need to accept things have changed & it's time to move on.  

I've been very low and feeling sorry for myself again I need to pull myself together I know this is easier said than done

I was recently told to 

• stop feeling sorry for myself 

• stop missing what I don't have 

• start enjoying what I actually have

This made me realise that I've been feeling so low and hiding away from what I have.  So since then I've been trying to focus on positives

Work has been difficult I've reapplied for my own job three times in two years and there will be a fourth time in the next year or so but at least I have a job!  My hours have been changed 30 minutes less each day means I now have to work an extra day every 8 weeks, but we never finish on time as it is so it will be an extra day a month for no extra pay, but at least I still have a job!

The trigger which I'm not discussing has not changed I did meet up with a few of those who I had fallen out with, I'm glad I did as it showed I've made the correct decision not to continue to have contact with them.  Very easy to write not so easy to accept.  

I've recently had a Big birthday  one that ends in a 0 so as I start a new Decade I have a new attitude - accept what I have not look back to what is missing.

I have an excellent daughter who is caring and loving, who spoilt me rotten for my birthday, kidnapped me, if you can call being taken to London for a surprise trip away a kidnapping - then arranged a full itinerary for the two days including tickets to the view from the shard for my birthday present.

I have been mentioned in the acknowledgement of a book thanking me for help - all I've done is send a few tweets and facebook messages to the author Michelle Betham and comment on her blog.  I found this to be soooo exciting as I love reading but to be mentioned was just so thrilling

So I'm counting my blessings 

• I have an excellent daughter  

• A brilliant birthday 

• I have a job 

• I love cricket 

• Mentioned in the acknowledgement of a book Striker by Michelle Betham

• I am only friends with those I want to be with 

 As  my I have a new mug says I need to 

• Shut up and deal with it ......

Just not on my blog since I tell you how I'm feeling which is a lot more chilled :) 

Pam xoxo