The Long Goodbye

This is a slightly different blog posting, but since it’s MY blog there are no rules as to what I may post!

The long goodbye of this post’s title relates to an episode of the West Wing – I loved that series I have the DVDs of all seven series.  I digress The Long Goodbye relates to one of the main character’s father who has Alzheimer's Disease and how the condition is like a long goodbye as the person deteriorates slowly Dementia but quicker with Alzheimer.

I recently went to visit a friend Harriet* who lives in a residential home because she has Alzheimer.  I had last visited just at the beginning of December 2012.  

When I arrived this week (May 2013), Harriet knew who I was and when she lost her their train of thought mid sentence would become frustrated as she is fully aware it is because of the Dementia.  At first the conversation was “normal” but I quickly realised it was not completely “normal.”

Harriet took off her necklace asking me if I could see her nail varnish, I could not see the connection between the necklace and the nail varnish.  Her nail varnish which used to be maintained with a great pride was chipped and flaking off, according the “weekly activity notice board” the nail technician was due to visit in 2 days time.  I was asked several times if I could see her nail varnish, she even asked me how I could make it look better, when I explained it had to be removed then re-applied Harriet was completely amazed by this concept.

When I had first arrived Harriet was sitting in one of the communal area of the home, the residential home is clean and does not smell of “old people,” daily activities are arranged and all the staff I saw were polite, kind and obviously knew all the residents well.  

After finishing her drink, Harriet and I went to her room where she proceeded to “tidy” things away, moving them from place to place.  It was in her room Harriet’s confusion was much more evident, her shoes live in a very prominent tub next to her chair.  After moving a few things on the bed, she turned around and was amazed to find she owned several shoes, changing out of her pair of shoes to put on an odd pair of tow left foot black shoes.  After prompting Harriet did manage to put on a pair of shoes.

After tea Harriet’s confusion was even worse, she did not know me at all.  When Harriet asked me my name I said 

“Pam” 

her response was 

“I know a Pam, how odd to meet two Pams in the same day.”  

The conversation became more difficult to follow before I realised she was talking about her own childhood at the same time as talking about her in-laws.  The saddest thing was when she started talking to the chest of drawers thinking it was her parents, even knocking on the drawer to inform them she was leaving the room.

The progressive deterioration of the disease was evident as the afternoon went on, but I’m guess if I was to visit again tomorrow she would know who I was but slowly deteriorate during the visit, which is a symbolic representation of the disease itself.  I know it will only become worse and the essence of Harriet, the part which made her Harriet was only visible in glimpses today, I guess but next week a little bit more will have gone as she slowly says goodbye over a long period of time

At least with depression there is a chance to recover, unlike Harriet and her dementia, I’m so glad I am feeling better as I need to live each day as much as I possible since you never know what the future holds.

* name changed to protect her identity as she is unable to understand she is mentioned in my blog